CPA Resources
CPA Resources

Protecting the ones you love

By Gretchen Pisano

When we are small we seek comfort in a favorite blanket or stuffed animal; we wrap ourselves in its reassuring warmth and settle ourselves.

So then, what to do as an adult when your responsibilities have increased tenfold, the world around you is changing everyday, and walking around with a favorite nummy would be just downright embarrassing? Wrap yourself, and those you love, in blankie thoughts – thoughts that warm the heart, inspire the spirit and motivate the body to take action.

1. Seek peace of mind by banishing b.s. (big scary) thoughts.

Recognize that every scary thought you have is future based, and therefore not real. Call out the big scary thoughts and imagine the exact opposite scenario, also in the future. Which one feels better? Choose to hold on to the thoughts that inspire you to life, rather than the ones that scare you to death.

2. Stable instability.

One thing that we do know for sure is that very few things are for sure these days. So, like a sailor on a ship’s deck, establish your footing, relax your knees and roll with the waves.

What this means is to choose a few things in your family’s life (three to five) and establish predictable patterns – candles in the evening, meatloaf on Mondays, breakfast as a family, the same music on the way to school, going to bed, or fixing dinner, etc. These family rhythms will give everyone something they can count on.

3. Consider your time and energy as precious commodities – invest in trustworthy relationships (personally and professionally) and divest of the drainers.

Trust is an elusive concept; make it less vague by trying these four powerful questions, as it relates to the key relationships in your life, and, for that matter, the companies you are doing business with:

  • Common ground: Do you believe your values to be similar?
  • Predictability: Can you predict thebehavior of the person -- or company -- with any degree of accuracy?
  • Consideration: Do you believe your needs are taken into consideration before they act?
  • Forewarning: If they are going to do something that is not in your interest, do they tell you first?

Evaluate every relationship that is tapping your time and energy. Keep those that demonstrate trustworthy traits and ditch the ones that sap you of your mojo.

4. Eliminate busy work.

Consolidate your bills, errands and chores. Find companies that can provide multiple services with one point of contact, service areas in your community where you can take
care of several errands at one time, and assign chores that dovetail with daily schedules. Having your teen-ager feed the dogs on weekend mornings probably isn’t going to work very well for you, the dogs or the teen-ager; give that task to an early riser and give your teen-ager a chore that is less time sensitive.

5. Lose the list.

If you are fueling a daily panic attack with a mental “To Do” list that is a mile long, lose the list. At the beginning of each day, decide on three things you need to accomplish that day to call it a good day. Aim for that and leave the rest of the list for another day.

6. Give back.

The absolute best blankie thought ever is the sense that you’ve made a difference in someone else’s life, and the best time to do that is when you are feeling down and out yourself. Volunteer at the local library or community center, leave an extra big tip the next time you are out to dinner, show up in your children’s classroom even when you don’t have time. The investment of time and heart will pay big dividends into the future.

Takeaway thought

Protecting the people that you love is as much about attitude as it is about action.

Gretchen Pisano is the creator of Sounding Board Ink Coaching, a coaching practice founded on using the best visual and verbal techniques available to live a life of purpose. She is also a Master Life Coach, trained and certified by Martha Beck, Inc., and a master's candidate in applied positive psychology, University of Pennsylvania. Visit her on the Web at www.sbi-coaching.com and read her blog at www.busybeyondbelief.com.

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